Part 2: Quinn's List

First of all, Eric and I wanted to thank everyone for their love and support for our cute growing family. We have been overwhelmed by the kind words, actions and thoughts that we have recieved. Sharing our story about Quinn was not the easist decision but we know what a difference he has made in our lives and can only hope that we can help or reach someone else out there.

Eric and I found out about Quinn's diagnoses Memorial Day weekend. I'm not sure there are words to describe the feelings and emotions that came to us. The best single word I can use is "shattered". Your whole world feels like that. All the hopes and dreams that you had, not just for us as a family but as your first child, your first son. That's what I had the hardest time with. I couldn't turn my brain off from thinking of all the things we had planned for him.  I'd thought of his Daddy being so happy and proud and taking him to the U of U football games at the end of the season this year and how we would keep him warm. I'd thought of our first Christmas together as a family, having another stocking hung on the fireplace and what I would fill it with. I'd already pictured him crawling, then walking, then kindergarten and so forth. And my brain wouldn't stop. Shattered. All shattered.

Eric had a very special, and very inspired, thought. Instead of thinking of all the things we "couldn't" do with Quinn, we needed to focus on the things that we ARE doing with him. And right there changed everything for us. Nightly we sit down and talk about our day and/or find time to do little things that we want to share with him. We don't have a checklist of things we want done, we just get to reflect and enjoy all those "little moments" I took for granted before. I know most people never even think twice about what they are doing when they are pregnant but it has been such a blessing and  a comfort to us.

This is the special journal that we bought to write these precious moments down. It's perfect isn't it? :)

As of today, he has 19 FULL pages of things that we have been doing with him over the last 8 weeks!! Some things that are on there...

• Snuggle with Mommy and Daddy every morning
• Celebrated with Daddy his first Father's Day and Mommy for her first Mother's Day
• Roasted marshmallows with Grandma and Pops in their backyard
• Went to the Living Planet Aquarium
• Ate late night breakfast at Denny's with Uncle Dane, Aunt Aubrey, Grandma, Pops, Mommy, Daddy and friend Dan
• First road trip!!
• Went to Disneyland! :)
• Played baseball with all the Burton cousins, Aunts and Uncles
• Rode in a convertible
• Ate your first wedding cake
• Fed the ducks

And the list goes on and on and on!!! He is such a loved little boy! :)

The story of our precious baby boy, Quinn Eric Burton

In April of this year, Eric and I were lucky enough to share the exciting news that we are expecting our first baby!! Weeks flew as we started to prepare for this new adventure in our lives. In May we went to our 20 week ultrasound and found out that our sweet bot has a genetic disorder called Trisomy 18 or Edwards Syndrome. It's a condition where Quinn has an extra 18th chromosome so he has some disfigurements such as a "rocker bottom" foot, scoliosis and clenched hands (they are my favorite, they are so stinking cute). But along with that he also has a large number of cysts on his brain and has some major heart problems. All these things put together make him, as the doctors told us, "incompatible with life". Wew ere told we had a c hoice to terminate the pregnancy or go along as far as Quinn can make it. It was never a hard decision though, we know that our Heavenly Father sent him here to have a body and that we will keep him here with us as long as he needs to be. We are on week 27 of pregnancy and are incredibly lucky to still have him here with us. He is such a fighter and already has the cutest personality. There is an incredible support group for Mom's in these situations called "Angel Watch" and it was suggested to blog about our experience. Part of it is therapy for me, the other part is sharing my love for Quinn. Some posts will be about parts of this journey or appointments or memories, some about how we are coping, some may just be letters I would write to him. Eric and I fall in love with him more and more everyday and are so proud to be called his parents.